Here's another that I'm rewriting for hopeful publication this spring. I would so appreciate any crits.

Ennui (original)

March comes in like a lion while
my ennui is lost out the window.
The clock on the wall is a persistant
memory; background words a rusted gate (rusty crow).
Such is my fruition of the moment.


Ennui (rewrite)

Another blustery day; my boredom
raps fruitlessly at the window
longing to dance with bare branches.

A clock melts into the wall marking a persistent
memory while background words
are no more than the screech of a rusted gate.

Such is my fruition of the moment.

Copyright Cher Cunningham 2007, 2008

Thanks, Cher