"i don't like the ending"
---moulin rouge

Of course, when I asked her where she was Kennedy was shot she said, "Ted Kennedy was shot?!?"

~When Harry Met Sally

"Damn, we're in a tight spot"

-O Brother Where Art Thou

"Cleveland Rocks!"
.
.
.
Just kidding

"you are allowed to show your pleasure"
---shakespeare in love

"withnail and i"

even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day

We've gone on holiday by mistake

trainspotting:

"It's either ME or Iggy Pop!" she says. Time to decide.

They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers.

"Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat."

"Luckily, at that moment, an unconscious Argentinian fell through my roof."

the "we'll be like normal people" monologue from the end of 28 Days

the "brave Sir Robin" song from The Holy Grail

"Like butter on a bald monkey."

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die." - The Princess Bride (also from the book).

I like that one.
I'm also fond of one from a guilty pleasure movie:
"A man's got to know his limitations."--Harry Callahan in Magnum Force?

Yes!

Or, from The Big Lebowski:
"Hey, man! I've got a beverage here!"

Of course there is the famous "I'll have what she's having," from "When Harry Met Sally." Couldn't resist, sorry.

"He's got a huuuuge talent!"

these are probably all paraphrased slightly . . .

"Sew like the wind, very old ones!"
"Dorothy Gish was there . . . and she looked at me and said 'Son, you've got it!" and, oh! True story."
--The Three Amigos

" . . . we were both reading LL Bean at the time . . ."
"Well, what are you? Some kind of . . . WIZARD?! Why didn't you tell me that before?"
--Best in Show

"It's a zen thing, you know, like how many babies can fit in a tire."
"I hate you, and I hate your ass face!"
"He could be the next Keanu Reeve . . . s." (deleted scene)
--Waiting for Guffman

"fat guy in a little coat . . ."
"you're the one with the . . . candy shell . . ."
--Tommy Boy

"Stop looking at me, SWAN!"
--Billy Madison

"These are O.R. scrubs."
"Oh, ARE they?"
--Rushmore

"I wish you'd done this before."
"You didn't have a drug problem before."
"Still, it would have been nice."
The Royal Tenenbaums

"It's like God's crying, before he kills us.'' (LuAnn on King of the Hill, while looking out the window at a storm during a tornado warning)

"Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor! Which is probably more than she ever did."

Groucho Marx, Duck Soup


"Have you ever done this before?" "I don't know."

Naomi Watts and Laura Elena Harring, Mulholland Drive

rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guildenstern: All your life you live so close to truth it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye. And when something nudges it into outline, it's like being ambushed by a grotesque.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guildenstern: I think I have it. A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself.
Rosencrantz: Or just as mad.
Guildenstern: Or just as mad.
Rosencrantz: And he does both.
Guildenstern: So there you are.
Rosencrantz: Stark raving sane.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rosencrantz: Shouldn't we be doing something... constructive?
Guildenstern: What did you have in mind? A short, blunt human pyramid?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rosencrantz: I don't believe in it anyway.
Guildenstern: What
Rosencrantz: England
Guildenstern: Just a conspiracy of cartographers then.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guildenstern: Rosencrantz?
Rosencrantz: What?
Guildenstern: Guildenstern?
Rosencrantz: What?
Guildenstern: Don't you discriminate at ALL?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Player: The old man thinks he's in love with his daughter.
Rosencrantz: Good God. We're out of our depths here.
The Player: No, no, no! He hasn't got a daughter! The old man thinks he's in love with his daughter.
Rosencrantz: The old man is?
The Player: Hamlet... in love... with the old man's daughter... the old man... thinks.
Rosencrantz: Ah.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

'take you to the vet'
-Tommy Boy.

i'm telling you - this swept the country when i started saying it... ok, maybe just my youth group at the time.

My favorite comment from R&G are Dead was their commentary on unicorns and the nature of perceived reality. If I had my script here, I'd post it.

"How many o' them hormones you takin', honey?"
- Jessica Tandy, Fried Green Tomatoes

Pierce Brosnan: "Your accent's a bit muttled."
Robin Williams: "Oh, really. Well, so's your tan."
- Mrs. Doubtfire

"I could be Jell-o."
- Cameron Diaz, My Best Friend's Wedding

Zombie: "You'll like being dead!"
Bender: "That's what they said about being alive!"
- Futurama

or from the Princess Bride
"He's been mostly dead all day."

"Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?"
"If there are, we'll all be dead."
"Stop that rhyming now, I mean it!"
"Anybody want a peanut?"

Right On!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

"No, Walter, you're not wrong, you're just an asshole."

lotr:fotr
MERRY: Don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.

leolo:

“Parce que moi je rêve, moi je ne le suis pas...”
(because i dream, i am not)

from my childhood memory bank from the Monkees TV show:

man with horse (to Davy?): Here, take care of my horse.
Davy: I'm not a stable boy.
Man: I don't care about your mental state. Take care of my horse.

"as you wish"

passim, the Princess Bride

King: Put them in the iron maiden.
Bill & Ted: Iron Maiden? Excellent! [air guitar]
King: Execute them.
Bill & Ted: Bogus.

"Sometimes when I meet old people, I stick my foot in their mouth and say, 'Welcome to Venice. This will be your last meal.'"
-Space Ghost

"Man should not be forced to live on carbohydrates alone, complex or otherwise. Jet, have you ever heard of protein?"
-Spike, Knocking on Heaven's Door

Uzzi: Did you get your finger back?
Margot: Wasn't worth it.
-The Royal Tenenbaums

"I love the kind of woman who can kick my ass." - Spike Spiegel

Chas: Is it dark?
Ritchie: Of course it's dark; it's a suicide note.
- The Royal Tenenbaums

"Things are a lot freer on the other side."
- Father, The Brak Show

How do you know she's a witch?
She turned me into a newt!
You don't look like a newt.
Well...I got better.
--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

for all the lurkers, from Being There :

I like to watch.

Ms. Hornay: "So Garth, do you want to have dinner some night?"
Garth: "Oh I like to have dinner every night."

----------------------------------------------------------------

Garth: "Ribbed for her pleasure. Ewwwwwww."

I have Billy Madison on the brain this morning:

"Stop staring at me Swan"

"I see your lips movin but I can't make out the words, I been physically abused in the ear"

Conrade: You are an ass, you are an ass.
Dogberry: Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass. But masters, remember that I am an ass: though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.

---much ado about nothing

Kate: Did you know there are 452 official kinds of cheese in this country, isn't that amazing? To find 452 ways to classify what is essentially a bacterial process? Don't you think that's amazing?
Luc: You would prefer one kind of cheese? One cheeseburger to put it on? One restaurant to eat it in?
Kate: I'm saying I *like* the cheese. God!


French Kiss

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and -
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [Pause] These go to eleven.

[Discussing Nigel's Guitar collection]
Nigel Tufnel: Look... still has the old tag on, never even played it.
Marty DiBergi: [points his finger] You've never played... ?
Nigel Tufnel: Don't touch it!
Marty DiBergi: We'll I wasn't going to touch it, I was just pointing at it.
Nigel Tufnel: Well... don't point!
Marty DiBergi: Don't point, okay. can I look at it?
Nigel Tufnel: No.

---this is spinal tap

"How much more black could it be? Well, none more black."


"So are we gonna do 'Stonehenge' tonight?"

The Big Lebowski has so many good lines it even has its own random quote generator here.

Warning: Explicit language

Nigel's quotes are the best from Spinal Tap! secretlyjustme, your cool points just went up by 500, at least in my book.

That's one of my favorite movies ever...partly because it's funny, but partly because I love the music that they were spoofing with Spinal Tap.


"What's wrong with being sexy?"

yes!!! i love cool points

I have the original Criterion Collection DVD of Spinal Tap, with real commentary (not the in-character one that they did for the later DVD release).

One of them, I forget which one, tells the story about how they went to a guitar store to rent intruments for the film, and they saw the double-neck bass. They asked the guy "what's the purpose of that?" and the store owner was like "there isn't one, really" and they're like "well we gotta have that then."

Thanks, Keith!

I'd forgotten one of Walter's best: "Smokey, this is not Nam, this is bowling. There are rules."

Ok, how about something from Spaceballs? I'm thinking of the part where Lord Helmet find out he works with a bunch of "assholes."

"It's a Juice Tiger. I'm on the Garth Brooks Juice diet."

"Hello! I thought I ordered a LARGE cappucino!"

"She smelled like soup. She smelled exactly like Campbells beef vegetable soup."

--So I Married an Axe Murderer

Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot. I said across her nose, not up it!
Laser Gunner: Sorry sir. Doing my best.
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major Asshole: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that!....What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir, Major Asshole
Dark Helmet: and his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir: Gunner's mate, first class, Philip Asshole
Dark Helmet: How many assholes we got on this ship anyhow?
The Crew: YO!!!!
Dark Helmet: I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes
[Dark Helmet pulls his mask down]
Dark Helmet: Keep firing assholes!!

Chauvelin: We shall execute our king instead, sir, and exalt our tailors.
Sir Percy: More's the pity. Then your tailors will rule the land, and no one will make the clothes. So much for French fashion, and French politics.

Sir Percy: What is it you Frenchies say? Tou-che? You see I'm a poet, and you didn't know it, what?

---scarlet pimpernel

Don Pedro of Aragon: Officers, what offense have these men done?
Dogberry: Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly; they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves.


Much Ado About Nothing