OK, here's the backstory for this....I'm thinking about proposing to my girlfriend, but not until at least next summer. Well that timing is kind of nice because I have to go to Paris, France next August for a conference where I am presenting findings from some research I am involved with. So the question becomes whether I should propose to her while we are there.

Any comments?

If you propose in Paris, there will likely be a desire to revisit the "scene of the crime" as it were, on special occasions - anniversaries, etc. - later on. Are you ok with that? Also, think long and hard on exactly where and how you will do this. Twenty-five years from now that romantic little cafe could be a biker bar. Or a new high-rise office complex!

I don't mind going back to Europe.... Not at all....

Actually I was thinking about doing it on the Ponte des Arts bridge which is over the Seine near the Louvre....somehow I don't see that becoming a biker bar

I said "somewhere else". I think Paris would be really beautiful, but I think it would be more beautiful to be someplace that's always been special to you guys. I think women like to be reminded that men remember things. We find it very deeply romantic. That's just my two cents.

I don't know of anywhere that is "special" to us (I even asked her about this once when this idea first crossed my mind to make sure I hadn't missed anything )....I mean there really isn't anywhere that we've been out of the ordinary. There's a German restaurant where we had our first "date" (we were friends for a long while before dating).....beyond that, it's been pretty mundane stuff. Our first big trip together (more than just back and forth visiting families or to Chicago) is going to be the one to Paris...

I guess I'll have to rack my brain a little more on this one.

A lot of women I know have been really touched by proposals at places they and their fiancees first met, or places where they spent a lot of time. A married couple I'm friends with got engaged outside our college chapel, where they'd performed in a bunch of concerts together. It's not necessarily about the actual ambiance of the location. That German restaurant is probably perfect. What would be even more impressive is if you could take her to the place where you first met, before you were dating, and make some little speech about that first meeting turning into a relationship that changed your life. She'll be crying; you'll be crying; she'll say yes; you'll win the prize for Most Romantic Proposal of the Year; and everyone will be happy. Good luck to you!

Sadly, I don't think that's possible. We first met at a hospital where one of her relatives was a patient I was taking care of. They kind of frown upon people proposing in the patient rooms. Guess the German restaurant is an option then..... LOL

Okay . . .Am I the ONLY vote for Paris ?

Dude . . .that is sucha romantic spot, anyways . . .and it's unique, beautiful, and all of the above. IT's not just ANYONE that gets to go to Paris with their love . . .and what great stories you can tell. . . .rather, what great stories she'll be able to tell all her girlfriends and children.

ANd really, any spot you choose will be special to her . . .because the spot that is dearest to her heart, I'm sure, is wherever you happen to be.

definitely, definitely, PARIS!

and the ponte des arts bridge o'er the seine is far more romantic than any ol' restaurant! (however romantic said restaurant may be...)

just my opinion. i mean, any proposal is romantic by nature, but wow, would this be ultra romantic!

Paris is so overrated in my book. Sure, I guess it's romantic, but romance can be anywhere. No hometown appeal here for me, but then that's me. I vote for somewhere else. Someplace that is special to both of you.

Cher

I understand that....since I'm a student at VU.

Romance can be anywhere. I feel somewhat suspicious of anything which suggests a lean towards pageantry in personal events. I mean, sure, it's all pretty to see people come up with insanely complicated proposal schemes and carry them out (sometimes with the assistance of a reality TV crew to foot the bill... mmph), but I feel like the decision to get married should be between the future bride and groom. Weddings are pageant enough, aren't they? I prefer the idea of small, personal proposals which aren't necessarily meaningful because you're in some picturesque locale carefully calculated for maximum romance. My best friend proposed to his wife in a a car stranded by the side of the highway in a blizzard. Another friend's husband proposed to her in an empty parking lot at two in the morning. To people who don't know them, these are total "guh?" moments, but to people who do, it makes sense. It seems right. Certainly, proposing marriage should be a little more ceremonious than tossing a ring box sideways after a basketball game and saying "so, ya wanna?" but... *sigh*

Someplace quiet. Someplace where you can be private even if you aren't fully alone. Preferably someplace prettier than the broom closet of your past middle school, but hey, who knows. It can be serious or silly or whatever, but I suggest you go with what will be meaningful to both of you, not necessarily what will make a civilized photo op for the family. This part's about you. The rest of them get the wedding. (*hides*)

Paris is over rated... I vote for Aruba!

Great suggestion! Want to help pay for it?

I would normally say Paris, since it is so beautiful, old and graceful, but Proposing in Paris is a cliche'! I would avoid all cliche's like the plague.

That said. Propose in a way that is special to you two. My wife (then significant other) loved Cheese its, so I put the ring in a box of Cheese its and hot glued it shut like it had never been opened!

It was about midnight when she finally opened it, and she almost fainted right there in the kitchen... We still have that Cheese it box.

Okay, here's a thought.

You could ask one of her married girlfriends to sort of casually start talking about how her husband proposed and see if she gets any clues.

Or ....

You can just wait and let your girlfriend propose to you. Or was that just a '70s thing?

She doesn't have any married girlfriends....I have more married female friends. They all seem to think the Paris idea is great

well said.

ok, while i'm still all for the paris idea, cuz' i'm a cheeseball romantic, i totally agree with this philosophy!
my husband actually proposed to me by waking me up early, b/f he had to go to work, kneeling by the bedside. i was totally groggy, (not a morning person here) had bedhead, and he was in his work uniform. when he opened that box and said i know this isn't exactly romantic, but would you marry me?
well, that was the most romantic thing in the world to me. to know that he loved me at that totally normal, every day, unperfect moment.

yeah, go with your heart on this one!