I live on a boat (Kylie thinks that thats funny) and run a marina here in Cincinnati. It seems that the neighborhood is going to pot. We have a new gang in town. They’re pretty bold and mean. They’re from Canada. At first you wouldn’t be that scared if you saw them. There’s only two of them and they’re only about two or three feet tall but they’ll stop you out on the docks and make all kinds of noise and back you back into your boat or back up onto shore. They’re geese and they are hell bent on laying eggs in my flower pots! I have about 6 or so of these large flower pots filled with just dirt right now. We haven’t had time to plant anything in them yet. Anyway, these geese insist on flinging the dirt all over the place and making nests in them. I’ve tried to get them to move onto shore. I’ve tried talking, threats, yelling, water hoses, throwing sticks and swinging brooms and they keep coming back!

The other morning, I awoke to one of the ladies down here screaming and the sound of geese honking and hissing. I jumped up to look out the window and I saw poor Nancy hiding behind a set of steps out here on the docks, franticly dialing on her cell to call her fiancé. I put some clothes on and ran to her rescue, waiving my jacket around and chasing them off. I think they were after her purse.

Mamma goose picks a pot, makes a nest, I pick up the 100 pound or so pot, put it on a cart and wheel it up onto the river bank and stick it under a fine tree with a nice river view. If I were a goose, I’d consider it a very nice place to raise my young, but nooo!
She walks over, sits in it, sticks her beak in the air and struts away, back to the marina to make a mess out of another pot. I’ve moved about five of them now! My back is killin’ me. This has been going on now for about a week or so.

Well, I was cooking dinner tonight in the oven, a whole chicken. And yes, I told the geese that. They didn’t care. Mama goose jumped up, made a nest in another pot and dropped an egg in it right by my door while I was waiting for dinner to cook. Can you believe that?! I walked outside and there she was sitting by my font door just looking at me. Papa goose proceeded to try to kick my a$$. I think he had a gun but I’m not sure. I jumped back inside and grabbed my trusty jacket (it worked last time) and went back out there to shoo them off. They were not happy but they left; but not far. I proceeded to load up yet another pot onto my cart and wheel it up the hill to place it into the new goose condo community under the tree; this time with an egg in it. Papa was not happy at all. He chased me all the way up the dock hissing and flapping his wings. I was scared. I saw my life flash before my eyes. I threw him my wallet but he wasn’t interested. I got the pot planted under the tree and then ran for my life. The geese just sat there and looked at it quietly as I fled. They’ve been checkin’ it out now for about 20 minutes.

I’ll let you know how it goes……

Keep us posted. If you need backup...

Shotguns always work. "PULL!"

i'm glad that gang has moved your way....what a great story ....
i've got friends up here that have goose hunting licenses, the good ol' boys would love to visit.......
and i'm sure geese are leaving their crap all over the place too, and to think they were almost extinct...

here's a link from the minnesota dnr on goose problems
geese
so as you will see they will come back to the same nesting area year after year


but I'm with Jim- blam, blam- hey supper!
plus a bonus- eggs for breakfast!

good luck

Goose meat is tasty, when prepared properly.

3 words:

firecrackers in pots.

ok, I wasn't gonna do this....

few years ago, a buddy and I used to play in a winter golf tournament. We'd go out and play the North Pole Classic in late January. For the seven years we played it, it was always cold, but we rarely had any snow on the ground. The second year we did it, it was miserable cold and no snow.

On the first tee, I tried to stick a tee in the ground and snapped it off clean. After looking around (for what, I don't know... it's what men do in nearly impossible situations, don't you watch movies?), I happened to notice a bunch of goose "droppings" nearby. Even further, I noticed that they were nice enough to poop in a kind of "circle".

I took one look at the goose poop, one look at my golf ball and..... [insert lightbulb over head] VOILA! PRE-FROZEN GOOSE TURD TEES! They worked wonders! They were everywhere! They were bio-degradable!

By the second hole, word had spread like..... well, goose poop all over the course. Every "golfer" out there was on to the new "must have" golf accessory.

disclaimer: do not attempt this when the temperature is over 32 degrees farenheit. Trust me.

I hate geese! The only good goose is a cooked goose! mmmm, goose!

There is a company out there called The Geese Police, and for a fee they have dogs that will come to your business and scare off the birds. They opened a branch here in Naperville, IL and in the Spring and Summer I always see the Geese Police trucks driving around.
http://www.geesepoliceinc.com/

I must've missed this gem the first go around... I mean, what's better than living on a boat for a guy??? I submit the following:

Why Men Love Boats (slightly edited)
1. You can ride in a boat any time of the month.
2. Boats don't have parents.
3. You can share your boat with friends.
4. If your boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
5. If your boat smokes, you can do something about it.
6. If you smoke, your boat doesn't care.
7. Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong.
8. Boats don't care how many other boats you have been in.
9. Boats don't care if you look at other boats or if you buy boat magazines.
10. Boats don't care how many other boats you have.
11. If your boat is too loose, you can tighten it.
12. You can have a beer while riding in your boat.
13. You don't have to be jealous of the guy working on your boat.
14. You don't deal with priests or blood tests when registering your boat.
15. If you say bad things to your boat, you don't have to apologize before you can ride again.
16. Your parents don't keep in touch with your old boats after you dump them.
17. Boats don't insult you if you're a bad driver.
18. Your boat never wants a night out alone with other boats.
19. Boats don't care if you're late.
20. You don't have to take a shower before driving your boat.
21. It's always O.K. to use tie-downs on your boat.
22. If your boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or buy new parts.
23. Boats curves never sag.
24. Boats last longer.
25. Boats never get pregnant.
26. You can control the speed and time of arrival.
27. Quick trips to the store for "feminine products" or oil... no contest.
27. A boat will never tell you to ask directions.


source: http://www.heyfish.com/stories/jokes.htm#8[size=1]

Best of luck, Shawn!

We had a geese couple decide to nest in the hedges right in front of the building where I work about 7 years ago, and every March they settle back in (it's illegal to harm or forcibly relocate geese in this seaside village). For the first four or five years, the male would randomly hiss and fly at the heads of innocent employees walking on the sidewalk to and from our other building for meetings, and Maintenance had to put up a hurricane fence each Spring to protect us from the overzealous goose (our Creative department also came up with an amusing Wanted: Gary the Goose flyer with front and side mug shots). He seems to have finally figured out we're not after their eggs, or maybe he's just not so young and feisty any more.

There is a lovely artificial pond with lots of hedges not 20 yards from the spot they decided to nest in. I'd love to know how they "decide" on the location they cling to so fiercely!

Keith, darlin'
uh, did ya ever think to just ask them?

tsk...sheesh!

Cher

That's Him!!! That's Him!!! or... is her? I can't tell they all look the same to me.


Story update:

Well, the night of my first post, we had a whopper of a storm blow though here. The airport recorded 76 mph winds. I believe it! I was out in it, trying to keep Destiny (our boat) tied to the docks. Anyway, I don't think the geese enjoyed the storm much. They split. Left the egg in the pot, and split. They stopped by the next day for a quick visit in the afternoon. I told them what you guys told me to do here on the Orchard and said that I was going to go get out my gun if they didn't get up under the tree, sit on that egg, and stay the hell off of my docks! They made thier way over to the tree, gave things a look over and flew off. I haven't seen them since. One of the guys down here says that he's giving them one more day to do something with that egg and then he's going to have an omlet!


I'll keep you posted......


PS Thanks for all of the advice and jokes! You guys are fun!

They're back; and my scence of humor with this situation is starting to ware off.

This is what happens when .... WILDLIFE AND HUMANS CLASH!!!

Things could get ugly.

Cher

well, i would suggest the hazing method first- firecrackers (like what was suggested), or all of what is suggested in the minnesota dnr link.....
I would also call your city or county to find out if they have any ideas.
Did you know a goose produces 2 pounds of droppings a day, watch your step!


so just googling on the geese i found this web site that lists the Canada Goose Hall of Shame.
And look Brightwaters NY in no. 6 on the list. Keith?
here

and then theres goose repellant, spray and sonic
here

of course if they stay then this is what it will be like in the next few years



keep us posted

Maybe his ladyfriend is getting older and is not quite the hottie she once was, so he feels y'all aren't after his woman.

As far as nesting sites go, did'ja ever watch 'em? They sit their feathery li'l butts down on the ground and wiggle 'em around for a few seconds. If the ground is good, their feathery butts seem to know it. Not having a down-covered butt of my own, I have no idea what makes "good ground" vs. "bad ground", but maybe y'all can ask Karin the next time ya catch her in a "duckie" mood.

Rick.C

Keith and I worked at the same place ....

Keith, don't I remember someone fracturing a knee fleeing the little bastards?

Yes, a woman injured herself pretty seriously falling off the sidewalk's curb while running away from Gary. That's when they decided to put up the fence.

Shawn, I think you're making this up. I didn't see any geese yesterday!

Kylie, I'd lie to a lot of people, but I'd never lie to an "Apple". Stretch the truth, maybe; but I'd never lie.

As for yesterday, they came in for a quick walk around the docks when we landed and were honking at a few of the guests that were leaving early so I had to run them off again. (the geese, not the guests)

I shot at them with a BB gun for a little bit today. I didn't want to hit them (yet) so I just shot at the water around them to run them off. They didn't like it so they split. They came back later on though, so I got in a kayak and chased them around for a while. It was a nice day for a kayak ride.

I'm trying real hard to leave the .22 in the closet.

how's them honkers doing, Shawn.

It's funny that goose attack story was in all the headlines earlier this week.
Kind of fits this thread.

goose attacks

Well, I haven't seen the male since I chased him in the kayak. The female still visits every now and then, but never long, and she stays over on the shore. I guess the "hazing" thing finally made them move to another place.

Truth be told, in a twisted sort of way, I do miss them. Now what will I have to type you guys about?!

Do you think its safe to start haulling all of those big a$$ pots back down to the docks? My back hurts just thinking about it.

Shawn

There was a photo and a brief story in the newspaper here that a Canada goose has been perching on the roof of a strip mall nearby for several days. It sits above the doorway to one of the stores and swoops down in attack mode at people trying to enter the store. Of course, it is illegal to try to relocate the bird.

My split-second reaction is that someone with a gun ought to just pick the thing off. Gotta love the NRA; now if only responsible people could use guns at times like these...

Let me see if I got this right: you offered the geese marijuana???











Patrik

If I thought it would make them leave, I'd consider it! Although, I think I'd get into a whole lot of touble with 100 pounds of pot! On second thought, I'll just stick to the flower pots.

must make for one hell of a dubb

peace,
zayne

Hey Shawn,
I will loan you my Austrailian Shepherd if you want. She would see that they don't come back. Plus she would have a blast and get to swim too. It would save me hours of frisbee and walks.
Sirius, she doesn't bite. she actually likes you. Unlike Syren.
She's a bird dog for sure. That is her second favorite pastime- chasing birds that is. Those huge geese would be fun for all.

Here in Minnesota my brother an I call them SKY CARP!

I don't know what I did to piss off Syren, but she really does not like me. I think she'd chase me rather than the geese. Not good.



Very good! I think I'll use that.