Bordering on fiction
It all worked out
In my dreams
Last night.

I was soft and
Aloof:
Equal measures
Of the darkness
And light.

With no sharp edges
To mind
Or defend
The universe
Melted.
It was mine
To bend.

There were portions of
Rare earth
Suspended
In my hair.
As the silence
Around me
Stirred
I walked
On still air.

I knew all the plot points,
the kept secrets
of friends.
I was more than
A broker
Making
More than
amends.

But the briefest of
Safe passage
Takes time to defend
As the battle is
Taking much more
Than I care
To pretend.

And just before waking
I found to my fright
That all the mere demons
Had hid from
The light.

And my born identity
Had ran away fearfully
And found guilty
With pleasure,
Penchants,
In the good night.

This poem makes me think of the splendid perfection we are at our core--perfection that your subconscious knows about, so it shared it with you in your dream, but beyond our core, there is fear and constriction that has come about--be it by childhood trauma, societal demands we feel we must live up to, or any number of other "demons".....so we go from knowing (not so much a knowing of facts, but a resting in the "knowing" that we're okay just as we are) to fear and guilt. Just as Peter walked on the water when he had his mind on Christ, so are we able at times to "walk on still air" and experience things like "rare earth suspended in (our) hair".....moments of surrender when there is no fear, so nothing to "battle," and no guilt, so nothing to "make amends" for....there is just the simple beauty of "being" and the joy of an uncluttered mind. But just as Peter took his eyes off Christ and began to sink, so do we begin to sink into the mire of our own doubts and fears when we lose sight of truth--the truth that we are more than what we do, that we are more than the words we're able to assemble for others, more than the whispers we hear in our minds from ghosts of our past, and more than the "sharp edges" that were honed somewhere along the line to keep us safe and help us navigate in this world.

I also like what you said about being "equal measures of the darkness and the light" in your dream. Perhaps this is part of why you were able to experience such peace in the dream--because you weren't trying to escape or deny the darkness, but rather, it was incorporated into your being and held there with acceptance. I think if we were able to do that more in waking hours, we'd be so much more content with ourselves......there is such beauty and depth and richness of being in the "shadows" of ourselves, yet so often we're afraid of the dark and think we need to be bright and shiny all the time.....at least I know that's true of me, and I'm hoping I'm not the only one...... : )

I don't know--these are just a few of the thoughts I had after reading the poem. I've read it several times because there seems to be more to it than I can grasp--I respond to it intuitively more than I am able to express intellectually, but at any rate.....thanks so much for sharing it--I really enjoyed and appreciated it.

~Gina

Thanks Gina. I'm not really one to post my writing online, and only did this on a whim, so I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond. And you seemed to respond quite well intuitively, so I wouldn't worry too much about the intellectuality (is that a word) of it all!

Hey all,

I was looking over the Orchard and found this little poem I had released here. I've re-worked it a bit, made it leaner and closer to what I think I was trying to say at the time.

It's also amazing how many Over the Rhine references it contained that I didn't even know were there in my first draft. (E.A. Poe was right)

I think I'll re-title it:

Unblinded

Lying in silence,
In my dreams
Last night.
I reshaped the borders
Of a grandiose
Theme.

From equal parts
Darkness, and
Light left unseen,
I loosened the fabric
Of my beautiful
Scheme.

I knew all the plot points,
the kept secrets
of men.
I was more than
A puppet.
Making more than
Amends.

Still the briefest
Of battles
Leave blood on
One's hands,
And the safest of
Passages
Take time to defend.

It was just before
Waking, I realized
My plight.
That all of my demons
Simply hid
From the light.

And my born equation
Had balanced itself
Right;
Aligned with the guilty
And the sloth
And the night.

Hey, I liked this one. Forgive me that I didn't take the time to read the original from last year. After reading your comments about re-tooling, I wanted to read the latest version first. I really appreciated the flow of this piece as well as the words used.

About the only word I stumbled on while reading was the word "passages" (stanza 4, line 6). The word "bastions" came to my mind after a read or two.

My favorite line, which happened to be in my favorite stanza was "the kept secrets of men".

Thanks for posting it!
J