This funny was sent to me by a Connecticut friend (I was born and raised in CT) but you can substitute any familiar town you wish.
Do any of these Barbis sound familiar?

Mattel recently announced the release of Limited
Edition Barbie dolls
for the Connecticut market:

Darien Barbie - This princess Barbie is only sold
at Neiman's. She comes with an assortment of Kate
Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named
Honey, and a 3500 SF house. Available with or without
tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in
conjunction with "augmented" version.

Southington Barbie - This modern-day homemaker
Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and
matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no
full time occupation or secondary education.
Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold
separately.

Bridgeport Barbie - This recently paroled former
"Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a Chevy with dark
tinted windows, and a meth-lab kit. This model is only
available after dark and can only be paid for in cash.
Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a
cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

West Hartford Barbie - This yuppie Barbie comes
with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.
Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and
country club membership. Also available for this set
are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't
be able to afford any of them.

Bristol Barbie - This pale model comes dressed in
her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR
shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has
a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD
set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired
Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck
separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
absolutely free.

Glastonbury Barbie - This collagen injected,
rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining
friends at the McMansion. Percocet prescription
available.

Southbury Barbie - This tobacco chewing,
brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled
sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
Beer-Gut Ken out of Bristol Barbie's house. Her
ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake
fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also
available with a mobile home.

Woodbury Barbie - This doll is made of actual
tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet,
hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow."
She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you
purchase two
Northampton Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you
get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

New Haven Barbie - This Spanish-speaking-only
Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary
plates and four baby Barbies in the backseat (no car
seats). The optional Ken doll comes with a
paint-bucket lunch pail and is missing three fingers
on his left hand. Green cards are not available for
New Haven Barbie or Ken.

Waterbury Barbie - This Italian Princess Barbie
comes with teased black hair, 12 gold chains, 7 gold
bracelets, 8 rings and 1 ankle bracelet. Included are
a permanently attached cell phone and a black Monte
Carlo with ILUVTONY license plates. The accompanying
Ken doll has been replaced with a black haired Tony
doll with hairy chest and gel/hairdryer kit. A
camera/cellphone with the Mayor's office on speed-dial
is sold seperately.

thats FUNNY!

i'm still a little mad that i wasnt allowed to have Barbie dolls when i was little.

Oh poor Barbie! I am so sorry I laughed!

i'll admit to it... i played with my sister's barbies. they worked great when my g.i. joes flung fire crackers at them. oh battle fatigue barbie... the memories!

Red Neck Barbie

My best friend gave me my favorite Barbie before she moved away when I was four. The head popped off when I was eight, and I was devastated. (Cabbage Patch Kids were MUCH cooler, though!)

my sister got the barbies. i made them multistorey cardboard houses complete with rugs and furniture. i shoulda done interior design. no wonder i love junk decor!

I always imagined that my sister (if she had lived) and I would get into great fights because I would have made my GI Joes torture her Barbie Dolls.

I never played with barbies...I was more a lego kind of girl...
But one time my sister and I were locked out of our house when the lock froze...
and we went to a neighbors...and they gave us many barbies to play with.

I think I remember being frightened.

Those barbies are equally sad and funny- sad because there are actually people like that- people we should probably be trying to help but also sad because they probably don't think they need any help. Sigh. Barbie Fun. I had a brief barbie phase a few years ago when my and my college roomie tried to make up for not having barbies when we were younger. Yeah. That was dumb. Still, it was fun. Oh, has anyone heard about the new barbie fashion line for adults?