 Barbie Dolls |
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 Jul 8 2004, 10:30 AM
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 Lifelong Fling  Group: Members Posts: 5,627 Joined: 16-September 03 From: Boulder, Colorado Member No.: 10  |
This funny was sent to me by a Connecticut friend (I was born and raised in CT) but you can substitute any familiar town you wish.
Do any of these Barbis sound familiar? Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie dolls for the Connecticut market: Darien Barbie - This princess Barbie is only sold at Neiman's. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a 3500 SF house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version. Southington Barbie - This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately. Bridgeport Barbie - This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth-lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. West Hartford Barbie - This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them. Bristol Barbie - This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Glastonbury Barbie - This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the McMansion. Percocet prescription available. Southbury Barbie - This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Bristol Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home. Woodbury Barbie - This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Northampton Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free. New Haven Barbie - This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and four baby Barbies in the backseat (no car seats). The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket lunch pail and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for New Haven Barbie or Ken. Waterbury Barbie - This Italian Princess Barbie comes with teased black hair, 12 gold chains, 7 gold bracelets, 8 rings and 1 ankle bracelet. Included are a permanently attached cell phone and a black Monte Carlo with ILUVTONY license plates. The accompanying Ken doll has been replaced with a black haired Tony doll with hairy chest and gel/hairdryer kit. A camera/cellphone with the Mayor's office on speed-dial is sold seperately. -------------------- T xo A mind once expanded can never return to its original dimensions. Anne Hathaway: 1556-1623 Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself Leo Tolstoi Be the change you want to see in the world Mahatma Gandhi Rhinestoned Cowboys Member since 2003 My Website MySpace Why I am Vegan  |
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Jul 8 2004, 10:31 AM
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 The Circle of Quiet Group: Members Posts: 1,552 Joined: 24-March 04 From: santa barbara, ca Member No.: 344 |
thats FUNNY!
i'm still a little mad that i wasnt allowed to have Barbie dolls when i was little. -------------------- and all the little fears you thought
someday would disappear they're still hanging around they're whats holding you here i know you want to be free if you need to let go hold on to me --secretly just me |
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| Guest_HappyScout_* |
Jul 8 2004, 10:37 AM
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Guests |
Oh poor Barbie! I am so sorry I laughed!
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Jul 8 2004, 10:57 AM
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 A Little Lower Than the Angels Group: Members Posts: 694 Joined: 3-March 04 From: Elgin, IL Member No.: 146 |
i'll admit to it... i played with my sister's barbies. they worked great when my g.i. joes flung fire crackers at them. oh battle fatigue barbie... the memories!
-------------------- "Give me a museum and I'll fill it."
- Pablo Picasso |
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Jul 8 2004, 11:02 AM
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#5
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 The Circle of Quiet Group: Members Posts: 1,421 Joined: 4-May 04 From: EAST OF THE SUN, WEST OF THE MOON Member No.: 468 |
Red Neck Barbie
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Jul 8 2004, 11:02 AM
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 Lifelong Fling Group: Members Posts: 7,061 Joined: 4-March 04 Member No.: 205 |
My best friend gave me my favorite Barbie before she moved away when I was four. The head popped off when I was eight, and I was devastated. (Cabbage Patch Kids were MUCH cooler, though!)
-------------------- "I'm trying to feel more well adjusted than I really am, which is, I guess, the human condition." - Douglas Coupland, Microserfs
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Jul 11 2004, 07:29 AM
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#7
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Lifelong Fling Group: Members Posts: 5,169 Joined: 9-March 04 Member No.: 259 |
my sister got the barbies. i made them multistorey cardboard houses complete with rugs and furniture. i shoulda done interior design. no wonder i love junk decor!
This post has been edited by d.: Jul 11 2004, 07:29 AM -------------------- ...
me: "the glass is half full. the glass is half full. the glass is half full..." kylie: "clearly you're not drinkin enough." |
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Jul 11 2004, 06:14 PM
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#8
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 Lifelong Fling Group: Members Posts: 7,349 Joined: 10-October 03 From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth, Sol System, Alpha Quadrant, Milky Way Galaxy Member No.: 85 |
I always imagined that my sister (if she had lived) and I would get into great fights because I would have made my GI Joes torture her Barbie Dolls.
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Jul 11 2004, 06:22 PM
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#9
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 B.P.D. Group: Members Posts: 2,060 Joined: 23-January 04 From: here and there Member No.: 127 |
I never played with barbies...I was more a lego kind of girl...
But one time my sister and I were locked out of our house when the lock froze... and we went to a neighbors...and they gave us many barbies to play with. I think I remember being frightened. --------------------  I live in Minnesota! |
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Jul 12 2004, 08:07 PM
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#10
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 A Little Lower Than the Angels Group: Members Posts: 665 Joined: 18-April 04 From: Kalamazoo, MI Member No.: 419 |
Those barbies are equally sad and funny- sad because there are actually people like that- people we should probably be trying to help but also sad because they probably don't think they need any help. Sigh. Barbie Fun. I had a brief barbie phase a few years ago when my and my college roomie tried to make up for not having barbies when we were younger. Yeah. That was dumb. Still, it was fun. Oh, has anyone heard about the new barbie fashion line for adults?
-------------------- If the plural of 'Goose' is 'Geese' shouldn't the plural of 'Moose' then be 'Meese'?
And shouldn't we then call baby 'Meese' 'Moslings'? |
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