Cyber Mates Options

[Guest_HappyScout_*]

Here is burning quandary? Do you think you will find date, marry, fall in love with some one from the internet? i have heard tales and have seen some blossoms here and there, but I just want the facts man!? So you hooking up in here?

[zoey]

my little sister is married to a boy she met through the internet. strange but true. and they are a perfect match too.

[secretly just me]

stay away from internet dating
just take my word for it
don't do it

[zoey]

o i forgot to add that. so my little sister married a guy from the net and my big sister only met creeps.

[Aaron]

I would not rule out any gal I met from the internet. There have been several girls whom I have wanted to get to know better that I have met throught the net. I even know a few couples that met through the net, and are happily married.
However, there has to be chemistry, and one thing I know is that some people do not act the same in real life as they do on the net.

Having said that, I have only met one girl from the net in real life, and to be honest, it wasn't the best experience. She really likes me and all, and there was a little chemistry there, but she wasn't my type.

[secretly just me]

hey Happy Scout...
Zoey and I are seeing two different avatars for you...did you change???

[coldteablues]

I have met several wonderful folks on the internet. I think it quite possible to fall in love with and commit/marry. Two women that I work with met their significant others that way.

Cher

[WalrusOct9]

Do you think you will find date, marry, fall in love with some one from the internet?

At this point in my life, I'd say that's more likely than me dating and marrying someone I met in real life.

I dunno...I had one really bad experience with this, it's a long story that involved a few thousand miles of flying and takes more typing than I'm willing to do right now, but...I think it kind of scarred the whole idea of trying to have a relationship with someone who doesn't live within reasonable distnace of me.

But I think it's just as valid a way of meeting people as anything else...

...one thing I will say about the internet, is since at first you're not actually seeing the person, you're less distracted by how hot they are and how badly you would want to sleep with them, and instead just have words, and all that matters about the person is what they're like, and what they say, so I think at first you can actually learn more about someone than you can if you met them in person, at a bar or party or whatever. Just a thought...

[FallingLeaf]

Good points, Steve.

My view is the same. It's just as valid as bars, the bookstore, the tractor pulls (hey, it's north carolina, sit down). People are a cross-section unto themselves.

I mean, ask it like this: would someone do well to meet YOU on the 'Net? Well, that's what EVERYBODY thinks, silly.

[liberation party]

Long distance romance sucks. (Sorry.) Sworn off forever. Yes.

[GoodDog]

I may get in trouble for posting this, but here goes...

I met someone here in the Orchard a couple of months ago and we have an amazing relationship. We have gotten to know one another very well and have progressed rather nicely. We share the same faith, musical taste, sense of humor, career, literature loves, etc. In short, I have fallen for her head over heels.

I'm thankful to God for allowing us to meet, no matter if it was online or at the mall. (I will let her reveal herself, if she wants to)

So, I would say meeting someone on the internet is no different than meeting somone at Borders, at church, or the grocery store. In fact, in some ways it may be better because you are at a place already sharing common interests. (such as Over The Rhine!)

Of course, my experience may not be for everyone, but I have learned to be receptive when God places people in your life and to not close a door on someone just because it may not seem "normal" to others.

This post has been edited by GoodDog: Jun 15 2004, 11:31 PM

[kylie jo]

good for you!!! that is really great!

i'm all for meeting someone online. whatever floats my boat!

[hometown boy dav...]

Do you think you will find date, marry, fall in love with some one from the internet?

I met my girlfriend Elly over the internet in January through Yahoo personals.
She had filled out a profile with the zip code of 41007, California , KY just across
the river from Cincinnati. That was how she ended up in my search results.

We emailed back and forth and then started doing the Yahoo Messenger chat including webcams. I then found out that she was in Manila, Philippines.
She had randomly selected the zip code, she can't remember how she chose it.
I thought there was no way that anything would come from it, with her being 10,000 miles away. But she was cute and sweet and I liked talking to her.
She works in an internet cafe so has access to computers/webcam when she is working.

We ended up chatting about everyday since then and getting to know each
other. The webcams are great, you can see the other person
react, laugh, smile, cry,get mad. It's almost like you are sitting in the same room. Just chatting is also great, but sometimes the nuances get lost.

I sent her roses on Valentine's day, a Wine me, Dine Me TShirt, and an OTR Ohio CD a few weeks later. Somewhere in the next 3 months we fell in love.

In May I got on a plane and 3 flights and 26 hours later was in Manila.
We met the next day and spent a week together. It was the best week of
my life, and she felt the same way.

She's still in Manila and I'm back in Cincinnati. We are talking about our
future together here. We hope to be together later this year, in time for
the 2004 Taft Xmas show. She might win the OTR catalog for traveling the farthest. We still do the webcams every night that she works.

So, the answer is yes - it is possible to find, date, fall in love and marry someone from the internet. You definitely have to meet at some point early on, to see how you are together. Whether you can stand to be in the same room together.

It's all a matter of timing, I think. It's either blind luck or the stars aligning or the hand of God.

That's us in my profile picture. A guy from Ohio and a girl from Kentucky.

[dani]

my mom met my step-dad online through a penpal listing. she listed herself as a 93 year old woman who enjoys rollerblading. he emailed her 'cause she sounded hilarious, and then ended up talking for hours on end about deep crap and within three weeks were planning a wedding. insane! anyway, he's the first guy in her life who has ever been able to stand up to her and take care of her. and he loves all four of us kids and does his best to be a good step father. they've been married going on 6 years now and are a great match for each other. contrast this to her husband before who she met in-person, who was an abusive, manipulative, cruel person.

then of course, there is this guy i know of in town.... he is a portly, bearded, long greasy haired dude. and he was chatting with this guy out east and had him convinced he was a hot teenage girl. eastern guy sent the dude here all sorts of stuff and spent tons of money on him...thinking he was a girl.

for me personally, i fell in love with the guy i spent a minimum of 6 days a week with [sat next to each other at work, had lunch together, in a band together, in ministry together, have the same friends, etc] for a year [we've been friends for over 3 years]. so yeah, you could say we had a lot of in-person time. haha.

but, i have TONS of friends ive met online over the past...seven years? and ive met a sizable amount of them in person. and i'd say 90% of the people i meet online are awesome. a few of them turn out to be way way WAY more awesome in person than they are online, and others turn out to be way different [for instance, loud online, silent in person]. i was just on the phone today with my friend jennie, who i met on a message forum for a record label. six years ago. who now lives only a few hours from me, and whose house ive stayed at more than once.

my opinion: there are wonderful and horrible possiblities online. but there are also wonderful and horrible possibilities in in-person relationships.

[pulpexploder]

My first girlfriend was actually someone I fell in love with over the Internet. We were "together" for eight months, and it remains my longest-standing relationship. For a long while, I swore off long-distance relationships (Internet-based or otherwise), but now I'm having second thoughts. I don't know that I'll do anything about those thoughts, but I'm arguing with myself. The biggest tragedy about my long distance relationship was that it was such a great relationship that it took me years to get over her (because there was no way it would have worked out in the long run).

I like to think that the "me" online is the me in real life--that what you guys know of me from the Orchard is very close to what other friends know of me from real life. The truth is that communication based purely in faceless words frequently reaches a depth unparalleled in face-to-face social interaction. As a result, some of you may actually know me better than some of my friends in real life; and conversely, some of you wouldn't be able to stand me in real life while my friends here know all of the quirks, traits, and gestures that make up the unconcious me.

I'm of the opinion that a good relationship needs both deep communication and personal interaction, and it's hard to find both in either kind of relationship. If you can find a good balance within a long-distance relationship, then you just might stand a chance of being a success story.

[Guest_Bucknersfolly_*]

I met my fiance on a Christian matchmaking site. I met lots of quality people through the sites over the years. I think the key is meeting face to face as soon as you feel comfortable, it gets rid of all of the weird fantasy images we put in our minds.

[Guest_HappyScout_*]

hey Happy Scout...
Zoey and I are seeing two different avatars for you...did you change???

I was trying to change it but would not take my photo!

[Guest_HappyScout_*]

Well this is my protest!

[keith from ny]

I met my girlfriend Elly over the internet in January through Yahoo personals....

That is so sweet, Dave! What a great 21st century love story.

I met the love of my life long before the Internet became a popular way to hook up, but I've been making good friends online since CompuServe back in 1983. As Brandon said, sometimes you learn more about the "real" person in an environment like this or via email correspondence than you would face to face. I have really never been disappointed meeting any of my online friends in person (and I met over 30 of them at various Cowboy Junkies shows in 2003, not to mention all my orchard friends at CST last month). They're sometimes a little different from what I expect, but they're all wonderful people I look forward to getting together with.

[Guest_HappyScout_*]

I met my husband on a phone dating line. Being some what shy it was a great way to
meet people, talk and then have a face to face! I made a few friends I was about to try
something else{the age thing I was in a hurry} Then I met my husband Dave. When we met it was as if we had spent our whole lives knowing each other! We dated and very quickly were married, had our first child June..she was early, before our Sept first annv. Then two more
children came along very quickly. It has been the ultimate super roller coaster ride!
I am still trying to catch up with the joy! I am one that believes that having faith-helped me to enhance the completeness of my life. I call it my instant fairy tale! For Dave will forever be my knight! We are six years strong and ready for the rest but we are taking this part slow!

[Guest_colddeadhands_*]

I met my wife at an Over the Rhine show @ Bogart's in Cincinnati... she mentioned that she was on the OtR Yahoo! group... so the next morning, she got a surprise IM...

So, it was somewhat of an internet thing... more internet persistence than internet hook-up...

~fafs

[margarita]

Internet stalking I think you mean;)

~m

This post has been edited by margarita: Jun 16 2004, 11:02 AM

[Guest_colddeadhands_*]

Hej, it didn't take long... so I think stalking isn't a warranted description.

[pulpexploder]

So... does anybody want to hook up?

[kylie jo]

sure.